Wednesday, December 15, 2010

where are we? what the hell? is going on? the dust has only just begun to fall...

Mmmm, whatcha say,
Mmm, that you only meant well?
well of course you did...
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmmm that it's all for the best?
of course it is...
Mmmm whatcha say?
Mmmm, that it's just what we need
you decided this...
Whatcha say?
Mmmm, what did she say?

-Imogen Heap

Did Imogen Heap have a weird prophesy moment seeing into the life of insignificant me in small town Kansas in 2010 when she wrote this?

I reckon it might be time for the tables to be turned and for me to do some 'honest' sharing. Oh, of course for the good of people. Here, can we have a meeting and please, let me tell you what I see going on in your life and how you are disrupting MY lovely controlled existence...oh, of course, it's only for your own good. To help you grow as a person. Or maybe I'll come out with my guns blazing and dump my load on you and man, I 'll feel so much better afterwards. Will you feel better? Oh, hang on, that doesn't matter. I am the only one who knows and sees truth...Oh, I feel so good now. Do you want to have a coffee? Gosh, I haven't felt this good since last time I told someone the truth. I must do it more often.

Monday, December 6, 2010

jail and beauty

I got the email that could I please lead the three jail services on my own on Thursday night? I opened my eyes wide at the daunting and imminent sick feeling that started swirling in my stomach. I just play the guitar and sing. I don't 'preach' or 'teach'. Bloody hell. So of course I said, sure, why not?

The whole day I was asking Jesus what I should tell His precious sons and daughters...so of course I fell back on the old standard, 'The Voyage of the Dawn Treader'. I bet you would be hard pressed to find a more theologically interesting book as that one (or all of the Chronicles now I think about it...). I spoke to the mens groups about Eustace becoming a dragon and then meeting up with the ever lovely and divine and frightening Aslan and Aslan telling Eustace to 'undress', to take off his terribly constricting dragon skin...but of course Eustace couldn't do it himself, it was only Aslan who could perfectly transform his dragon-ness to proper and complete boy-ness. So I yakked about that. The guys seemed pretty receptive to it and after one group, there was extended conversation about their own thoughts on the passage.

I talked to the group of women about the loveliness that is, Jesus loves broken women. I read out Luke 7:36 and John 8:1-11. Go and have a look. Truly beautiful stuff. I felt so strongly about what I was telling them, I had to try not to cry as I read Jesus' words to Simon the Pharisee. Usually I want to have a bit of a joke but I felt the Holy Spirit so strongly, URGING these women to see and know how beautiful and utterly precious they are to Him, this was serious stuff.

But I have to tell you about the music time.

The last group was a group of guys that I have come to recognise and have some jokes with. Some are showoffs, some are tattooed and shaved heads, some are weird looking and silent, some don't stop talking. As I was kinda closing the end of the service, one guy says to me, 'Hey, why didn't you do the last song?' I said that I hadn't practiced it properly and I didn't want to do it and then another one says quietly, 'Could we do the Revelation Song?' and of course, that's one of my favourites at the moment, I HAD to teach it to them about 4 weeks ago and then someone says, 'I can't get that out of my head' and another says he has been singing it for the last week or so...so I start in and they all suddenly stood up - they have all sat previously - but they all stood up and I started singing and I had my eyes closed (I never want them to feel self conscious about however they want to respond to worship music) and then I hear their voices getting louder and louder, singing, 'Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come, with all creation I sing, praise to the King of kings, you are my everything and I will adore you...', I don't remember the last time I have had such an experience of such stunning and sublime beauty in a corporate worship setting. Hearing these inmates raise their glorious voices and having them echoing all around the gymnasium, was...I can't find the right or strong enough word. It was beautiful. How blessed I am to have experienced Jesus that night with those gorgeous sons of God.

I am really, really thankful.