Mmmm, whatcha say,
Mmm, that you only meant well?
well of course you did...
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmmm that it's all for the best?
of course it is...
Mmmm whatcha say?
Mmmm, that it's just what we need
you decided this...
Whatcha say?
Mmmm, what did she say?
-Imogen Heap
Did Imogen Heap have a weird prophesy moment seeing into the life of insignificant me in small town Kansas in 2010 when she wrote this?
I reckon it might be time for the tables to be turned and for me to do some 'honest' sharing. Oh, of course for the good of people. Here, can we have a meeting and please, let me tell you what I see going on in your life and how you are disrupting MY lovely controlled existence...oh, of course, it's only for your own good. To help you grow as a person. Or maybe I'll come out with my guns blazing and dump my load on you and man, I 'll feel so much better afterwards. Will you feel better? Oh, hang on, that doesn't matter. I am the only one who knows and sees truth...Oh, I feel so good now. Do you want to have a coffee? Gosh, I haven't felt this good since last time I told someone the truth. I must do it more often.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
jail and beauty
I got the email that could I please lead the three jail services on my own on Thursday night? I opened my eyes wide at the daunting and imminent sick feeling that started swirling in my stomach. I just play the guitar and sing. I don't 'preach' or 'teach'. Bloody hell. So of course I said, sure, why not?
The whole day I was asking Jesus what I should tell His precious sons and daughters...so of course I fell back on the old standard, 'The Voyage of the Dawn Treader'. I bet you would be hard pressed to find a more theologically interesting book as that one (or all of the Chronicles now I think about it...). I spoke to the mens groups about Eustace becoming a dragon and then meeting up with the ever lovely and divine and frightening Aslan and Aslan telling Eustace to 'undress', to take off his terribly constricting dragon skin...but of course Eustace couldn't do it himself, it was only Aslan who could perfectly transform his dragon-ness to proper and complete boy-ness. So I yakked about that. The guys seemed pretty receptive to it and after one group, there was extended conversation about their own thoughts on the passage.
I talked to the group of women about the loveliness that is, Jesus loves broken women. I read out Luke 7:36 and John 8:1-11. Go and have a look. Truly beautiful stuff. I felt so strongly about what I was telling them, I had to try not to cry as I read Jesus' words to Simon the Pharisee. Usually I want to have a bit of a joke but I felt the Holy Spirit so strongly, URGING these women to see and know how beautiful and utterly precious they are to Him, this was serious stuff.
But I have to tell you about the music time.
The last group was a group of guys that I have come to recognise and have some jokes with. Some are showoffs, some are tattooed and shaved heads, some are weird looking and silent, some don't stop talking. As I was kinda closing the end of the service, one guy says to me, 'Hey, why didn't you do the last song?' I said that I hadn't practiced it properly and I didn't want to do it and then another one says quietly, 'Could we do the Revelation Song?' and of course, that's one of my favourites at the moment, I HAD to teach it to them about 4 weeks ago and then someone says, 'I can't get that out of my head' and another says he has been singing it for the last week or so...so I start in and they all suddenly stood up - they have all sat previously - but they all stood up and I started singing and I had my eyes closed (I never want them to feel self conscious about however they want to respond to worship music) and then I hear their voices getting louder and louder, singing, 'Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come, with all creation I sing, praise to the King of kings, you are my everything and I will adore you...', I don't remember the last time I have had such an experience of such stunning and sublime beauty in a corporate worship setting. Hearing these inmates raise their glorious voices and having them echoing all around the gymnasium, was...I can't find the right or strong enough word. It was beautiful. How blessed I am to have experienced Jesus that night with those gorgeous sons of God.
I am really, really thankful.
The whole day I was asking Jesus what I should tell His precious sons and daughters...so of course I fell back on the old standard, 'The Voyage of the Dawn Treader'. I bet you would be hard pressed to find a more theologically interesting book as that one (or all of the Chronicles now I think about it...). I spoke to the mens groups about Eustace becoming a dragon and then meeting up with the ever lovely and divine and frightening Aslan and Aslan telling Eustace to 'undress', to take off his terribly constricting dragon skin...but of course Eustace couldn't do it himself, it was only Aslan who could perfectly transform his dragon-ness to proper and complete boy-ness. So I yakked about that. The guys seemed pretty receptive to it and after one group, there was extended conversation about their own thoughts on the passage.
I talked to the group of women about the loveliness that is, Jesus loves broken women. I read out Luke 7:36 and John 8:1-11. Go and have a look. Truly beautiful stuff. I felt so strongly about what I was telling them, I had to try not to cry as I read Jesus' words to Simon the Pharisee. Usually I want to have a bit of a joke but I felt the Holy Spirit so strongly, URGING these women to see and know how beautiful and utterly precious they are to Him, this was serious stuff.
But I have to tell you about the music time.
The last group was a group of guys that I have come to recognise and have some jokes with. Some are showoffs, some are tattooed and shaved heads, some are weird looking and silent, some don't stop talking. As I was kinda closing the end of the service, one guy says to me, 'Hey, why didn't you do the last song?' I said that I hadn't practiced it properly and I didn't want to do it and then another one says quietly, 'Could we do the Revelation Song?' and of course, that's one of my favourites at the moment, I HAD to teach it to them about 4 weeks ago and then someone says, 'I can't get that out of my head' and another says he has been singing it for the last week or so...so I start in and they all suddenly stood up - they have all sat previously - but they all stood up and I started singing and I had my eyes closed (I never want them to feel self conscious about however they want to respond to worship music) and then I hear their voices getting louder and louder, singing, 'Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come, with all creation I sing, praise to the King of kings, you are my everything and I will adore you...', I don't remember the last time I have had such an experience of such stunning and sublime beauty in a corporate worship setting. Hearing these inmates raise their glorious voices and having them echoing all around the gymnasium, was...I can't find the right or strong enough word. It was beautiful. How blessed I am to have experienced Jesus that night with those gorgeous sons of God.
I am really, really thankful.
Monday, November 22, 2010
hooray for new weather and new happiness.
well, after that last sad bit of a post, things have decided to look up just a wee bit. and I am so thankful. not that really anything has changed with regard to circumstances but i think that Jesus is giving me a tiredness of wanting to feel grumpy and ungracious and i kinda have started to feel more invigorated by warm feelings of hope-full-ness. i am learning that one has a much better time when one is filled with joy as opposed to mean, thin-lipped grouchiness.
i saw a recipe that made me feel really happy...it's over there to the right in the sidebar > and it's for pumpkin butter roll up things..and the website is TOO bloody cute. scrumdilly-do! that's what it's called...anyways, try that sucker out!
thanksgiving is just three days away and i just want to bake! I think i may try my first banoffee pie (it will always remind me of the ever lovely Liz Baynes - she bought a slice in a little cafe in Christchurch and I was a bit nervous about the banana factor but shucks, it was fabulous!) and also lots of pumpy-pumpkin thingys. I bought a HUGE sack of flour yesterday in hopes of domestic goddessing this season.
who is making what over this coming feasting season?
tell me if you know of any deliciously crafty blogs that you love okay?
over and bloody well out.
janey.
x
i saw a recipe that made me feel really happy...it's over there to the right in the sidebar > and it's for pumpkin butter roll up things..and the website is TOO bloody cute. scrumdilly-do! that's what it's called...anyways, try that sucker out!
thanksgiving is just three days away and i just want to bake! I think i may try my first banoffee pie (it will always remind me of the ever lovely Liz Baynes - she bought a slice in a little cafe in Christchurch and I was a bit nervous about the banana factor but shucks, it was fabulous!) and also lots of pumpy-pumpkin thingys. I bought a HUGE sack of flour yesterday in hopes of domestic goddessing this season.
who is making what over this coming feasting season?
tell me if you know of any deliciously crafty blogs that you love okay?
over and bloody well out.
janey.
x
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
sheesh
Life is often shitty. You know that weird and random and anonymous saying that goes like this,
'My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me
I may but choose the colours,
He worketh steadily.
Full oft He weaveth sorrow
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.'
For someone who loves thread and knitting and sewing blah blah blah, it's appealing to me. But sometimes, honestly, the 'underside' is just a drab and dreary and terrible side to be looking from. It includes, foodstamps, living significantly below the federal poverty line, sleeping in a laundry, the scourge of cancer, being thrust into a swirling maelstrom of church politics and feminism and being the terrible liberal, and pretty much being on the other side of the world from my family.
So I am waiting, not very patiently, for life to become nice. And easy. And filled with the hope of impending Christmas presents.
Love
Jane.
xx
'My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me
I may but choose the colours,
He worketh steadily.
Full oft He weaveth sorrow
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.'
For someone who loves thread and knitting and sewing blah blah blah, it's appealing to me. But sometimes, honestly, the 'underside' is just a drab and dreary and terrible side to be looking from. It includes, foodstamps, living significantly below the federal poverty line, sleeping in a laundry, the scourge of cancer, being thrust into a swirling maelstrom of church politics and feminism and being the terrible liberal, and pretty much being on the other side of the world from my family.
So I am waiting, not very patiently, for life to become nice. And easy. And filled with the hope of impending Christmas presents.
Love
Jane.
xx
Monday, November 15, 2010
i need to get moving
My creative juices have all but dried out in this current climate of stress and of us living in the laundry. But then I went to a friend's house (thank you Beth Buerge) and she is so highly motivated it's fantastic. She is selling gorgeous felt brooches and is making scarves and she has two kids...I thought, dammit! I can do this too!
So I came home and tidied up my house cos it was filth and I got over the fact that I don't own my own house (yet...) and just made this one as beautiful as I could. It's so much more relaxing to be in one's home when there is order and no clutter. I never thought I would ever say that.
But anyways, as soon as I get my hands on a bloody sewing machine, I am gonna get stuck in already. I can't tell you what I am gonna make cos I heard somewhere that when somebody tells people their main goal/s, it's like they have already got a bit of the satisfaction of actually doing so then there isn't as much motivation. I totally believe that you know? So I'm-a gonna keep it on the ole down low...
lovies lovies
jane.
xx
So I came home and tidied up my house cos it was filth and I got over the fact that I don't own my own house (yet...) and just made this one as beautiful as I could. It's so much more relaxing to be in one's home when there is order and no clutter. I never thought I would ever say that.
But anyways, as soon as I get my hands on a bloody sewing machine, I am gonna get stuck in already. I can't tell you what I am gonna make cos I heard somewhere that when somebody tells people their main goal/s, it's like they have already got a bit of the satisfaction of actually doing so then there isn't as much motivation. I totally believe that you know? So I'm-a gonna keep it on the ole down low...
lovies lovies
jane.
xx
Sunday, November 14, 2010
here's an interesting tidbit - 'you don't have to be pretty'
http://www.dressaday.com/2006/10/you-dont-have-to-be-pretty.html
Just a bit of cute little truth that we all need to hear every once in a while...(thanks alterKNITive) ;)
Just a bit of cute little truth that we all need to hear every once in a while...(thanks alterKNITive) ;)
Friday, November 12, 2010
Somehow...
Somehow, when I started this blog, I thought I would be writing about knitting and sewing and pottery and art and my funny preschool boys and I'd put pictures of things around my house and I'd talk about gorgeous fabric that I might drool over but hang on....suddenly it has turned into an egalitarian-loving, Jesus-adoring, feminist yak! Yikes!
But you know? I kinda like that. I wanna mix this sucker up and get some answers to tricky questions and try to 'seek to understand rather than being understood' in the midst of it all.
I am ready for the ride.
Jane.
xx
But you know? I kinda like that. I wanna mix this sucker up and get some answers to tricky questions and try to 'seek to understand rather than being understood' in the midst of it all.
I am ready for the ride.
Jane.
xx
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